Make a decision, right? Sure. I was able to quit jobs or end relationships that did not serve or support me in a spiritual way. At this time, I feel I need to think more about others. Then I make decisions based on what others think I should do. Oh.. I would not make a decision because the people around me will not understand. Here comes blaming others... that is the easy way out. Okay, I will admit it. I am scared. I am scared that I will make the wrong decision. I do not know where this came from. Again, I was able to "drop it like it’s hot" before so what is the big deal?
I do not have a complete plan. I mean I have not thought about having any large dreams; like living on boat in the Caribbean or being on stage to sing for millions of people. My dreams are more humble, more simple and sweet. I dream of living and working in a garden of vegetables and flowers. I see myself around animals and children. I teach children to listen with their hearts and feel what the plants are saying. I interpret what the signs are from the environment and ask the Earth when we can harvest food to eat.
This is a huge dream to me. Over time, I feel that I work with the elements of the world to help bring them back into balance. I live within a communal environment where everyone shares their labours and harvests. All ages are welcome. We do not send our dying to hospitals but love them to the end of their days in our “living rooms.” Life is life, especially if you still have breath.The other day, I went for a walk and a street called to me. Yes, a street called to me, “come this way.” As I walked, I saw the number 555. To me this means huge changes are occurring. I trusted what I heard. I strolled down the street and enjoyed the scenery. I came upon another corner, “this way.” This time, I did not hesitate. A tree whispered “come closer,” it was a fruit bearing tree. The berries were dark blue and smelt fresh and inviting. I looked up and a squirrel was enjoying the berries. I asked if I could have some too. I never ate fruit directly off a tree I just met. Of course I have had cherries at a cherry farm but I knew the fruit was safe to eat. But from a tree I just met.
As I touched the trunk of the small tree, I asked again, if I could eat its fruit. I got a definite, “yes.” The “YES” was spoken with a sweet and soft voice and held a deep mutual respect and gratitude. I felt honoured to eat “her” fruit. I reached up and took a small raspberry like deep blue berry. It was ripe and from the pressure of my hand the little parts actually burst in my fingers. The juices were bright and the smell was FAB-U-LOUS! I could not wait to put it in my mouth. The sweet nectar of this berry filled my mouth and my tongue rejoiced. Oh... sweet Mary. (I was surprised, I said that).
I reached for another berry. The squirrel was still eating too. It did not seem to mind that I was there. I examined the berry and its small clusters. I still do not know what it was called. I realized at that moment, the day before, my friend was serving these berries. She took them from a tree in her yard. I tossed another berry into my mouth. I had to move because people were walking by. I continued to pick and eat the fruit.I looked at the grouping of the berries. There was a ripe one and three or four behind waiting for their turn. I enjoyed the largest from the bottom of the tree and I could see the squirrel leaning out for the big ones at the top. I was having a snack with a furry friend. How delightful. “Are you enjoying yours?” I asked. The squirrel did not seem to respond.
I started to worry that I would eat too many and other small animals would not get them. “Look at the ground,” whispered the tree. At my feet was rotting fruit. “There is plenty.” I did not feel as bad. I took a few more. Each time the sweetness filled my senses I felt so much joy and love. Why do not I feel this way with other foods? “You have and can.”
I then remembered eating a pear that was on my kitchen table. It was there for a while. I really needed to eat it earlier. I washed it and thanked the pear for staying ripe even though it was over a week old. I ran out the door and down the stairs. I took a bite of the pear and the juices rushed my mouth. I had to stop because it was truly sweet and dripping down my lips. I could not believe it was a week old pear because I ate one before and it did not compare to this one. Oh, how delicious. My eyes rolled back as if I needed to experience this pear within another dimension. I kissed the pear and thanked it for its life. I felt an overwhelming sense of love and appreciation. I continued walking along the street and bite after bite I was filled with more love and joy. I was licking my fingers to catch all the juice. It is true. I felt love and joy before , what a memory to hold as I was under the deep blue berry tree.“Thank you, sweet, dear tree,” as I licked my fingers again with the memory of the pear and juices of the berries. I felt really special to have received your fruit and honoured by your words and love. I took one more berry and waved goodbye to the squirrel stretched out on a branch munching away on a cluster of pure joy.
Oh, to realize I am already moving towards my biggest dream is relaxing and comforting. I am taking little steps towards a healthier and happier lifestyle. Am I making a decision to do this? Probably... but I was not aware of it before. Awareness, it really sneaks up on you does not it? SNORT!
I just asked what they were. "Mulberries!" Why did not I ask the tree? Doh!